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I always think of myself as generous and giving AND — guess what? I have found that my generosity is often tempered by what I think I can “get away with” and still look good, while protecting myself every step of the way. Last week, I got to see what true generosity can — and does — provide… an experience of Grace and Love…

Early in the week, I received an email from a friend – let’s call her Maddy — not someone so close to me, but more than an acquaintance – someone who is in the spiritual and transformational conversation with me, but not someone I regularly call or email. She was reaching out to her transformation “community” in order to find support around creating an opportunity for a plane ticket to a course in San Francisco that we are both taking together – in fact, we were heading there for the weekend last week. She found herself without a plane ticket to go – and, unless she was able to generate that ticket one way or another, it was now too late to get an inexpensive ticket – and she would not be able to come.

I read the email and my first instinct was to delete the message. “Not my responsibility….,” I thought.

Something stopped me.

What hit me is that I have often been in that very same situation – waiting until the last minute or thinking that money that I expected to come through would actually come in on time – only to have everything fall through and there I am left with no resources, no recourse – and feeling bereft and alone. As I looked at the email, I was inspired by how courageous she was to step out into the unknown and ask for help.

Yet, here I was, in not much better circumstances myself. Oh, I was going for the weekend, but it hadn’t been easy to pull that together. I had a reservoir of frequent flyer miles from which I had pulled in order to create my own ticket – and had not much more in the “kitty” from which to draw. I was saving what remained for my own ticket to the last weekend of the course in May.

That was two months away.

I called Maddy and offered to “create” a miracle with her. I told her that I had miles that I could give her in return for her working with me to generate my own plane ticket for May. We talked about it for a while, and she reluctantly declined. She didn’t want to put me — or herself, for that matter — in an uncomfortable situation in which she would feel obligated to “pay me back” for the free miles given to her now. We agreed to “stand together” in the space that anything could happen and that a miracle would arrive for her.  I hung up the phone.

I think of myself as someone who steps out on the power of the Word every day of my life – “God provides” is not simply an aphorism to me.   I put my faith and trust in God and He treats me like a “lily of the field” – I have never known Him to fail me.   So, you can imagine….. Miracles happen often in my life….

I couldn’t shake the feeling all day that I had something to give and if I really believed in my faith and trust in God, I could give what I had and really “put my money where my mouth is” and create my own miracle for the trip in May.

I called her back – and this time, I freely offered the miles. Believe me, my ego – that part of me that thinks there isn’t enough for everyone – was screaming inside me, “How could you do this? What will you do when you need to go in May?”

My ego was no match for what was there in the space for both of us: creating and loving and Being…

What was there was an amazing Presence – a sense that this was greater than either one of us. Maddy told me that a miracle had already happened – she had half the flight already and only needed the one-way ticket back… As we made plans for how we would work that out the next day, we both let our walls down to each other and allowed for that there would be a way to have this work. We surrendered to the love in the space and said, “This shall be.”

I went back and forth all night between ego – wanting to keep everything for myself – and Self, knowing that by being willing to surrender to whatever it was that was there for me to do would give me riches beyond what frequent flyer miles could provide.

“A Course in Miracles” speaks of giving this way: “To give and to receive are one in truth,” (Lesson 108). The fact is I would have felt that something was missing if Maddy could not be there – I was being generous for myself as well as for her — “All that I give is given to myself.”  The next morning, Maddy called to say that she had both ways on the ticket and that she didn’t need my miles after all – but – and this is a big “but” – we both knew that those tickets showed up in the clearing that we were being for her to come.

We are all powerful beyond anything we can imagine AND we do not walk this way alone. There is One Who is with us always… and it is easier to experience that when we stand together in love…

And…. Love is the thought that God is…

Deliciously yours in the Miracle of it all,  Linda

“For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”  Matthew 18:20

© Linda Ruocco and “Spiritual Chocolate”, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Linda Ruocco and “Spritiual Chocolate”  with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.  Thank you.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

February 11, 2009

Hi, I’m Linda Ruocco and this is my blog, “Spiritual Chocolate: Living inside a Delicious Relationship with the Divine.”

So, what does that mean, you say? Why this blog

For me, I grew up Roman Catholic and everything religious or spiritual was very solemn, serious, and severe – lots of rules, lots of ritual, lots of SIN!! I almost couldn’t do anything without which it was a SIN and wrong — and God was scary and distant!

On my own path, I have found that the spiritual road is rich with delights, the smooth path rather than the rocky road I thought it was when I was small…. and full of sweet and soulful surprises that warm the heart and pour into my mind like the molten delicacies that they are…. and so I aim to bring those delicious morsels to you…. those found moments, those delectable treats that appear in the love that only spirit sees and feels and hears…. my Valentines to you…. Valentines from The Divine.

I was married to a wonderful man, with whom I am still friends. His name is Fred. We divorced a long time ago and I have not been in a real committed romantic relationship since then. We have an incredible son, whose name is Josh, and he is 29 and lives far away in Minneapolis and works for Target and, well, I miss him even though I know that he has his own life to live, his own path to follow.

I tell you this because it is Joshua who taught me everything I need to know about love – that it is unconditional, it is always there, it gives us our strength, our beauty, our lives… and once it is created, it is never destroyed – even when we think it is. Oh, it may look different, it may feel different sometimes – but, love is love and it just IS…. and, if we let ourselves, we can see it everywhere.

When Josh was born, I couldn’t believe how much I loved him! One minute, he wasn’t there – and, the next – he popped out, I looked at him, and there it was – this feeling that we long for all our lives, the feeling that is indescribable, that is deep and rich and Oh, so sweet! The feeling that we call LOVE.

And, it never went away! In fact, I loved him more and more (How is this possible?) every day!

So, here’s my first delicious morsel: When Josh was about three, I was putting him to bed one night. I had my arms curled around his little body, so soft, so sweet, his little blond curls brushing at my cheek as I sang him a song to sleep. I was overwhelmed with him and feeling so blessed. I whispered in his ear, “Josh, you are better than the treasure at the end of the rainbow, you are better than the most precious jewels in all the Universe, you are an angel, so perfect and so sweet. I am so lucky to have you for a son. Thank you for being my child.”

“You’re welcome,” he answered simply.

I was a little surprised. I felt like I wanted him to say, “Oh, Mommy, I feel that way about you, too. You are so wonderful. You are the best Mommy that any boy could ever want!”

After I left his room, I thought about that. And, I got it that it was my ego that wanted those strokes, that reassurance, that admiration.
Josh? Well, he was just love – and his answer was a response from the Divine – my son was my prayer and God answered.

Over the years, I have come to realize that that love that I feel for Josh is what love is – and I can give that same love to anyone and to everyone. The only thing ever standing in the way is the ego that wants strokes, reassurance, and admiration. Love simply is. It doesn’t need anything.

Oh, and, because it’s Valentine’s Day, I’m giving myself a new possibility – the possibility of being in a deep, rich relationship with all my heart!

And, that means, with you…

Deliciously yours in Love always, Linda
“Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is exhausting for children to have to provide explanations over and over again. That’s the way they are. You must not hold it against them. Children should be very understanding of grown-ups.” …”The Little Prince,” by Antoine de Saint-Exupery.
 
© Linda Ruocco and “Spiritual Chocolate”, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Linda Ruocco and “Spritiual Chocolate”  with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.  Thank you.

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