I was excited to read Dayna Macy’s new book, “Ravenous: A Food Lover’s Journey from Obsession to Freedom”, because it is a memoir and not a “diet book.” After reading a few self-help books on weight loss, like Marianne Williamson’s, “A Course in Weight Loss” and Geneen Roth’s “Women, Food, and God,” (both of which I loved!), it intrigued me that someone would write a personal story of what she eats and why and what she did about it.
Dayna Macy titled her three sections with compelling names: Part 1 is “Seduction”, in which she writes about the foods that arouse her desires: “Sausage,” “Cheese,” “Chocolate,” “Olives,” and “Squash.” Squash? Yes, squash – this chapter seems to be more about the pleasure of food than the food itself. Or, perhaps, more about the man who is cooking the food than the food itself – charged with longing and eroticism, this chapter makes it is easy to see why we women confuse food with intimacy. Hunger is often not distinguished for us in terms of what we are hungry for. And so, we eat when we can’t or don’t love.
Part II is titled, “Communion,” with chapters called, “Farm,” “Forage,” “Feast,” “Patience,” “Slaughter,” and “Home” – the connections with food that create the insatiable – or almost insatiable — bond with those foods we love. The hardest chapter for me to read in this section (in fact, in the entire book) was the one on meat, entitled “Slaughter.” While I am not a vegetarian and I don’t have any desire to be one, Dayna’s telling of her visit to a humane “abattoir” – a slaughterhouse – took me up close and personal to what it is behind the scenes of being a meat-eater: an animal has to die for me to have my steak and eat it, too.
Indeed, this chapter is about the humane slaughter of cows, which, we all know (or, should know by now) is not the way most of the cattle that supplies our meat are killed. Although she does not take us on a visit to the farms that do not practice the humane slaughter of cattle, the background conversation is that method as a contrast to this visit to the more humane facility. She describes the process in detail: calves one at a time, hidden from the view of the animals behind it, stunned to brain-deadness and then killed. Behind her visceral description is what she doesn’t discuss — the even more disturbing vision of cows crowded together in a killing chute, fear racing through their bodies as they see the animal in front of them die. She doesn’t describe that directly, but the way she describes this killing is as a contrast to that killing. While the unspoken contrast is not on the page, it is left in your mind.
After that chapter, I had to take a break. Her descriptions are so detailed, I had to put the book down for awhile. It was time to think about my responsibility in how I choose my food. Can I live with even the humane description? I don’t know.
Part III is called, “Transformation.” The chapter titles are, “No Food,” “The Yoga of Food,” “The Practice of Food,” “The Offering of Food,” – all very spiritual chapters in the sense that eating and food require being honest with oneself and present to the actual act of eating — and the last chapter of the book is on “Oranges.” This is my favorite chapter, partly because of her luscious descriptions: “Oranges are among my favorite fruits. I love how the juice squirts out when you bite into a section and how they can be both sweet and sour and taste like the sun,” and partly because it is clear, in the end, that she has no answers for herself or for me – or for anyone, in fact.
There are no answers.
This is a book about the courage to be honest about one’s appetites – all of them – and the way we use those appetites to protect ourselves, to hide our pain – mostly from ourselves – and, finally, to find a way to use the very wounds that we seek to hide to take us on a journey that will lead to loving ourselves.
Deliciously yours in the Sweetness of it All, Linda
“Weight can be gained or lost. Our judgments about our bodies are much harder to lose. I see that my body is strong. It lets me do things both beautiful and practical. I am grateful to have found a practice that is helping me find balance and lose weight. But the scale is a witness to my journey, not the measure of my worth. It is with gratitude and humility that I am learning to take care of my body, because it is the embodiment of my spirit and the vehicle with which I make my way through this complicated, magnificent world.” Dayna Macy, “Ravenous: a food lover’s journey from obsession to freedom.”
Here is the link to Hay House Book Club Radio, a discussion of “Ravenous” which will air this Friday, August 19th:
http://www.hayhouseradio.com/show_details.php?show_id=235&episode_type=0
Here is the link to “Ravenous” at Barnes and Noble:
And, the link to Amazon.com:
Disclosure: I received Dayna Macy’s book, “Ravenous: a food lover’s journey from obsession to freedom” for free from Hay House Publishing.
© Linda Ruocco and “Spiritual Chocolate”, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Linda Ruocco and ”Spiritual Chocolate” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Thank you.
A Review: “Married to Bhutan”
May 10, 2011
Bhutan conjures up for me images of a verdant “Shangri-La” where everyone lives a fantasy existence of joy and bliss. So, when Hay House sent me the book, “Married to Bhutan: How One Woman Got Lost, Said ‘I Do,’ and Found Bliss” by Linda Leaming, I thought I would finally find out what the “secret” is – the secret to happiness. After all, Bhutan is a country that measures its success, not in “Gross National Product”, but in “Gross National Happiness.”
As I got into the book and realized that Ms. Leaming is an American who grew up in Nashville, Tennessee — and wound up going to Bhutan, falling in love – first with the country – then with a Bhutanese man, getting married, and living there ever since, I felt my resistance rise up. How could someone leave everything they’ve ever known — their family, their friends, their LIFE! – to travel halfway round the world to a tiny, remote country – one with no luxuries as we know them – nay, few necessities as we require them here — and choose to live, work, and love in Bhutan forevermore?
Even as I write these paragraphs, I realize what a paradox it is to be fascinated by – and yearn for – a place that promises happiness; and, at the same time, be resistant to the idea that the ideal of happiness is something for which we would WANT to give up everything else. In this country, we want it all — and, we rarely get it all.
It’s a metaphor for life that I believe warrants reflection for each one of us.
We want to be happy. AND – we don’t seem to be willing to give up our “already-always” life to have that – we are attached to our struggling, our scarcity, our suffering. We, in the West, think that success and money and things will bring us happiness. We are, more often than not, surprised when they don’t.
Linda Leaming is not advocating that everyone move to Bhutan, or even that that would be desirable. What she seems to be saying is, life is beautiful whatever way it is. Further, it is the acceptance of that which allows for bliss in a way that a life crowded with “things” does not. What she does say is, “We all need a little Bhutan in our lives.” I read that as joy in simple things, happiness in that life is a gift. Bliss arises when we allow it the space to enter in.
I loved this paragraph: “I was responding to that genuineness, that quality of life when you strip it down to the basics. Happiness can’t be willed. You have to get in the right situation and then let it come to you. I learned this by living in Bhutan.”
It is a disconnect for me as she describes accepting things the way they are. For example, I don’t like to be wet – going out on a rainy day is anathema to me. I’d rather reschedule my appointments and remain cozy and dry in my apartment. In contrast, here is her vivid description of the monsoon season: “During this time, you can forget about being dry. Everything – trees, dirt, clothing, food, books, beds – swells with wetness. Throw a moist shirt in the corner and in a few hours it sprouts little black spots of mildew that never wash out. Showering is redundant.” Yet, her last line in that description is one of lush beauty: “Everything is green, puffed-up, animated, and ripe.” In spite of the rain, she and her husband, Namgay, sit outside in the early morning and drink coffee, watching the earth swell with wetness and the river flowing by – she calls it “River TV.”
This is not “Desperate Housewives.”
She describes the beauty – and she describes the harshness – with equal fervor. Death is a constant in Bhutan. Yet, the Buddhist belief in reincarnation allows for the acceptance even of death – “It’s OK, we’ll work it out in our next life.” She is forthcoming about her Western angst in contrast to her husband’s Buddhist transcendence. A story about a dead baby caught in the river elicits Namgay’s spiritual response to her fretting: “Sometimes they come back and live for a year or two, then they die. They’re just finishing out the samsara.” What a peaceful contrast to what would be the Western response that any early death is a tragedy. I found comfort in that.
The theme that runs all through this book is the importance of presence in life. Ms. Leaming points out that “sometimes in the silence there are answers.” Her choice to become a mother after much anxiety hit home for me, as I am one who worries about getting it right: “There is no power in not seeing and in not being aware. Try to get out of yourself and overcome your ego. You might be a good mother. You might not. What good does it do to ask that question?” She vowed to become the “best half-assed mother I could possibly be.” Yep – me, too! Context is everything! I am so relieved that I don’t have to be perfect.
“Married to Bhutan” is a study in contrasts. Contrasts in ways of life, ways of thinking, ways of being. It’s clear that Ms. Leaming is not assigning right or wrong, just pointing out differences. And pointing out the impact of those differences on our lives and in our thoughts – isn’t that where happiness lives? In our thoughts?
Yes, differences worthy of reflection…
If what you want is bliss.
Deliciously yours in the Enlightenment of it All, Linda
“Acceptance is so much a part of being in love, and love can make a person exceptional.” Linda Leaming, “Married to Bhutan: How One Woman Got Lost, Said ‘I Do,’ and Found Bliss.”
This is Linda Leaming, author of “Married to Bhutan: How One Woman Got Lost, Said ‘I Do,’ and Found Bliss. Her work has appeared in Ladies Home Journal, Mandala Magazine, The Guardian U.K. and many other publications. She received an M.F.A. in fiction from the University of Arizona. She lives in Bhutan with her husband, Phurba Namgay, a Bhutanese thangka painter.
And, here is the link to the book at Hay House Publishing:
http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/click?id=JZjyJRjtyzs&offerid=206928.10000086&type=4
And, here is Linda Leaming and me with Diane Ray on Hay House Radio:
<a href="!["Hay](http://affiliate.hayhouse.com/Event/ICDITampa125x125.jpg")
“><a href=”
“><a href=”http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/click?id=JZjyJRjtyzs&offerid=206928.10000046&type=4&subid=0″><IMG alt=”Hay House, Inc. 125×125″ border=”0″ src=”http://affiliate.hayhouse.com/Event/ICDITampa125x125.jpg”></a><IMG border=”0″ width=”1″ height=”1″ src=”http://ad.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/show?id=JZjyJRjtyzs&bids=206928.10000046&type=4&subid=0″>
Disclosure: I received Linda Leaming’s book, “Married to Bhutan: How One Woman got Lost, Said ‘I Do,’ and Found Bliss” for free from Hay House Publishing.
© Linda Ruocco and “Spiritual Chocolate”, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Linda Ruocco and ”Spiritual Chocolate” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Thank you.
“A Course in Weight Loss”: A Review
March 19, 2011
I was looking forward to receiving Marianne Williamson’s new book, “A Course in Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons For Surrendering Your Weight Forever” to review for Hay House Publishing. As a student of “A Course in Miracles”, the spiritual self-study program that Marianne herself turned me on to many years ago, I had a feeling that this was not going to be your typical weight-loss book – and I was right.
To begin, I’ve been on a diet since last May and lost 16 pounds doing that. I was so proud of myself for making it through most of the Christmas holidays without gaining anything back – I thought I had this “monkey” off my back for good.
Alas, that was not so. At the end of the Christmas holidays, my ex-husband and wonderful friend called to tell me he was getting married in the new year. I never expected my grieving reaction until I realized that I never mourned my marriage the way I needed to. January started that time – and, in the two months since, I’ve gained back 8 of the 16 pounds I lost.
I received Marianne’s book right in the midst of all the pain of my long over-due grief.
My original plan — before I found myself plunged into my unexpected despair — was to read it and review it here on this blog. If I could take something on for myself – Well, then, I would, but I really didn’t think I needed it as much as someone else might need it.
How wrong could I have been? I needed this book to come the very moment it did! As spiritual as I think I am, the fact is that circumstances can and do throw me for a loop – and send me right back into thinking the old disempowering thoughts about myself that get me to start eating without thinking: “I’m not good enough,” “I was a terrible wife,” “Who would want me? I’m so selfish”. Before I knew it, I re-gained the 8 pounds I’d lost!
“A Course in Weight Loss” addresses these very issues of how we disempower ourselves, how we hate how we look, how we feel about ourselves when we don’t feel good about ourselves. Bottom line? Marianne’s book was exactly what I needed to appear in my life!
This is a book that is definitely a “course” – a step-by-step approach to – a diet? NO! The approach is to assist us in being willing to take on that which, as “A Course in Miracles” says, is our only problem – we think we are separate from God. It is a step-by-step approach to have us remember Who we are: a beautiful, perfect child of God — and, as such, everything we need is right here already. We need only remember Who we are.
Marianne’s instructions are graceful and loving: to build an altar to ourselves and that which we know to be the Divine within us. Then, Marianne guides us: to enhance our altars as a symbol of being in touch with our own spirit, buying ONE piece of carefully and lovingly chosen piece of fruit to put on the altar, to write letters to the self we are leaving behind so as to transform to the Self we are becoming, and to become aware of those triggers that send us right back into our pain. It is nothing less than a spiritual journey into our own hearts and minds to find the Real Self, the thin and whole spiritual Self that has been there all along.
Marianne doesn’t hold back, that’s for sure. There is one chapter called, “Exit the Alone Zone” that I am positive she wrote just for ME! I spend a lot of time alone – I work alone in my home office every day – and I always feel a bit lonely about that. This book made me realize that I – or the ego part of me – orchestrated that”alone-ness” in order to keep me separate from others – as separate as I sometimes feel when I forget my spiritual path, when I forget that “alone” is an illusion that I have created.
Well, now it’s time to create something new!
There are beautiful prayers at the end of each chapter that moved me to tears, each one inviting God in to heal us, to heal our un-healed wounds – as only He can do.
I finished reading the book through once, and now I have started it again, beginning with my altar in my window: a beautiful Buddha and a flower and a picture of a laughing Christ. As “A Course in Miracles” resonated for me as my spiritual path, Marianne’s “Course in Weight Loss” is resonating for me as the path to healing all my wounds, not only weight, but money, relationship, and career. That is a plan that I am joyfully taking on!
I want to end with one of Marianne’s beautiful prayers – the prayer that is at the end of Lesson 15, “Exit the Alone Zone.” To me, this is the essence of so much of this wonderful book:
“Dear God, Please melt the walls that separate me from others, imprisoning me within myself.
Please heal my wounded places and free my heart to love.
Help me connect to others that I might isolate no more.
I know, dear God, that when I am alone, I fear;
and when I fear, I self-destruct.
What I suffer now and have suffered before,
dear God, may I suffer no more.
Amen”
And, to that, my own “Hallelujah!”
Deliciously yours in the Sacred Self that we all are, Linda
This is Marianne Williamson, a New York Times best-selling author several times over. Her book, “A Return to Love” is a spiritual classic and widely considered by many to be the cliff notes to ‘A Course in Miracles'”. Marianne is an internationally known speaker and teacher. You can visit her site: www.marianne.com to see where she is speaking in your area.
Here is the link to Hay House publishing where you can purchase Marianne’s book:
<a title="Hay House Link to Marianne's Book" href="![](http://affiliate.hayhouse.com/IndivProd/978-1-4019-2152-1.gif")
“><a href=”http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/click?id=JZjyJRjtyzs&offerid=206928.10000509&type=2&subid=0″><IMG border=0 src=”http://affiliate.hayhouse.com/IndivProd/978-1-4019-2152-1.gif” ></a><IMG border=0 width=1 height=1 src=”http://ad.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/show?id=JZjyJRjtyzs&bids=206928.10000509&type=2&subid=0″ >
Disclosure: I received Marianne Williamson’s book, “A Course in Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons For Surrendering Your Weight Forever” for free from Hay House Publishing.
© Linda Ruocco and “Spiritual Chocolate”, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Linda Ruocco and ”Spiritual Chocolate” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Thank you.
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